


of promises made and dreams pursued

by DecemberWinds



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Friendship, Letters, M/M, Promises, Romance, but they're only mentioned - Freeform, established markhyuck, it's rated T because jeno swears once, renle is also only mentioned, superstar jeno?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-12-31 15:31:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12135486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DecemberWinds/pseuds/DecemberWinds
Summary: Jeno left Korea to pursue his dreams. That was three years ago. Still, Jaemin waited.





	of promises made and dreams pursued

**Author's Note:**

> collab with maru (Kookienism). she wrote the letters, thought of the title, and did the grammar and spellchecking (so if there's mistakes blame her lmao)

 

_Yah, Jeno Lee!!_

_It's been a while, how are you??_

_Okay, I know for a fact it's only been a few weeks but... It feels like it's been forever since I last saw you!! Hah... Life here in Seoul hasn't been the same without your very boring presence (it's still boring but... You get it right??) and everyone's kinda sad that you've gone and left us. We understand that you left to follow your dreams but... Yeah... We all miss you._

_I'm currently in my room as I write this in case you were wondering. It's late. Half-past ten?? I'm studying for my Science test tomorrow!! Well, was studying, before I kinda got distracted?? And decided to write to you?? So you better take responsibility and wish me luck!!_

_Anyway... Curious question. Do you go to school there in America? Do you wear uniforms too? Are they pretty? Because I just realized our uniforms are actually butt-ugly. Yellow!! Yellow uniforms!! (The stars on our neckties are cute though). Why am I just whining about it now, you ask?? Hm... I guess it's because I never really thought it was ugly when you wore it. Then again, everything you wear looks good on you. (I'm lowkey jealous okay?)_

_But... I see things a little bit more clearly now... even the tiniest of details... because you're gone._

_Kinda sad now that I think about it._

_Ehh, enough about that. How's your singing dream going? Have you found your place yet in the industry?? When will you come back?? Even for just a short visit??_

_You better give me an answer!! You promised you would!!_

_\- Nana._

 

* * *

 

 

_Never make promises you can't keep._

His parents had always lectured him about promises ever since he was little, and the most important thing they had taught him was that. _Don't make promises if you know you can't keep them_. Jeno had thought, back then, that he _could_. He was so stupid, _naïve_ , to even think that. Believing that he could do things when he really couldn't. A week and a half in America made him realize how young and foolish he had been to agree to a record deal, hoping for a chance to accomplish his dream of becoming a singer.

He had made a lot of promises, thinking he could keep all of them.

But now, he couldn't even keep one.

He couldn't even keep the one that mattered.

"Where are you going?"

He stops walking, turning to the man who grabbed his shoulder. The man responsible for his record deal. The one responsible for all his broken promises.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm leaving." Jeno roughly shakes the man's hand off, shooting him a glare. "I'm sick and tired of the way you make me do things. I'm not your slave, nor will I let myself be."

The man stares at him in shock, so he resumes walking, intending to leave the place as soon as possible. But the man manages to compose himself, speaking in an arrogant drawl as his hand moved to grab the doorknob. "What are you going to do then?"

Jeno stays silent.

" _I_ was the one who brought you here to America. _I_ was the one who provided you with food and a place to live in. How are you going to survive when you have _nobody_ to help you? Do you honestly think you can survive here with only that little talent you call singing? I know for a fact that your parents didn't approve of you coming here." The man sneers. "So what will you do? When you basically have _nothing_?"

"To be honest, I'm not sure yet." Jeno starts, not bothering to spare the man even a small glance. He didn't deserve it anyway. "But what I am sure of is that I'll make it far. I'll make it farther than you'll ever have, with _my little talent called singing_. In _my own fucking way_."

He knew it was another promise, but he didn't care at the moment.

Slamming the door behind his back, the raven haired male made quick work of the stairs, speed-walking out of the building in seconds. He continues walking until he's blocks away from the company. Then he checks his pockets, sighing as he counts only a few bills and coins.

Well, at least he had _something_.

 

* * *

 

 

_Nono!_

_You're worrying me! It's almost been a year, Jeno! Almost. A. Year! Why aren't you answering? You promised me you would. Are you even getting my letters? Am I sending them to the wrong address all along? Answer me!_

_You know, I've probably sent over fifty of these now. Meanwhile, I haven't received even a single one from you._

_Is something wrong?_

_Are you soooo busy with your life there in America that you can't even sit down and reply to your best friend?_

_Hah... I just want to know how you're doing because you're scaring me. At least tell me you're fine. Just that sentence. Or a dot! Even a stupid dot will do!_

_I miss you, Nono._

_\- Nana._

 

* * *

 

 

Jeno finds himself snorting as he read over the latest letter he received. Almost a year and the younger was still writing to him, despite him not replying to even a single one. He had honestly expected that Jaemin would stop writing after a few months of silence from him. But he forgot about the other's tenacity. It was very admirable, to say the least.

He carefully folds back the letter, slipping it inside its baby blue envelope. He then reaches under his bed for the box he used to keep Jaemin's letters, sliding the new letter among the others.

"Jeno? Why are you still awake?" Someone suddenly speaks from the doorway. Turning around, he sees a head of blond hair and prominent cheekbones. It was his old friend, Mark.

He and Mark had been friends since they were in middle school, before the older male's family moved abroad and they lost contact. It was just his luck that he stumbled upon Mark (years later) on his way to a gig at some bar. It was a miracle that he even _remembered_ Jeno. And then Mark found out about his situation and offered to let the raven stay at his house. Heck, he even asked his cousin Johnny, who was a producer, for help with Jeno's singing career.

(Jeno must have saved a whole country in his past life to be blessed like this.)

"I couldn't sleep." He answers, carefully placing the cover back on the box before sliding it back under his bed.

"You haven't been able to sleep for weeks now, Jeno. Do you want to go see a doctor?"

Jeno shakes his head, "No, I just write better at night." Then he grins cheekily, "They do say the brain is more active and creative during these times."

Mark raises a brow at him, leaning against the doorframe with a mug of hot coffee held in between his hands. "Okay... So, how many songs do you have ready?"

"Too many to count."

"That's good, then. Just get ready to face Hyuckie tomorrow. You know how much he hates it when you stay up so late, even _if_ you're being productive."

Ah, Donghyuck. Mark's boyfriend. Ever since he started staying with the couple, Donghyuck took it upon himself to berate him for his unhealthy sleeping habits. _Motherly instincts_ , he recalls the other saying when he saw Jeno's dark eye bags.

Speaking of Donghyuck... "Where is he?"

"Asleep." Mark yawns.

Oh.

"You should go to sleep too." Jeno says when the blond stifles another yawn.

"I will. I just have to finish a few papers. But good night." He gives Jeno a two-fingered salute as he turned to go, stopping halfway when he remembered something. "Ah, Jeno?" At the raven's hum, he continues, "Johnny hyung said he had good news for you, and that he wanted you to call him as soon as you wake up tomorrow."

"Okay, I will. Good night, Mark."

"Good night, Jeno."

 

* * *

 

 

_Jeno,_

_I can't believe you. Did you receive my latest letter? I visited your parents the other day and they told me you haven't been writing to them too. They told me to just stop and give up because I'm just wasting my time and money for someone who doesn't even care._

_Do you think I'm only wasting my time and money on you?_

_Do you really not care?_

_Because I care, and I believe my time and money haven't been wasted. Not on you, never on you._

_I believe in you, Nono. And I believe we're still best friends._

_In two days, it will be exactly a year since you left. A year since I last saw you, a year since I last spoke to you in person, and a year since I last hugged you. I miss you. A lot. And by a lot, I mean really a lot. It's enough to make me burst into tears at this moment. But I won't. I'm saving my tears for when I see you again. Because I don't want to cry sad tears. I want it to be happy ones._

_Eh... Who am I kidding?_

_Honestly, I don't want to cry just yet because I'm afraid the tears will blur my vision, and I'd miss you walking right in front of me, drinking some weird mix of coffee you bought from Starbucks. (You better not be overdosing on caffeine still! It's unhealthy!!)_

_Anyway, did you know Renjunie and Chenle went off to France for college? They both got accepted into a prestigious university there. Junie is taking Arts while Lele is taking Theatre! And! And! They also recently got together!_

_Jisungie is busy with his last year of high school so I don't see him much nowadays, but!! I heard that he wanted to follow in Taeyong hyung's footsteps and become a choreographer._

_As for me... Well... I got accepted into SNU! (Surprising with how lazy I was back then, huh? But I made it!)_

_AND I finally know what I want to pursue. I want to become a doctor, Jeno. I want to help people._

_I want to help you. (I have a feeling you still have trouble sleeping, you coffee addict.)_

_Please, come home._

_\- Nana._

* * *

 

 

Johnny had been able to get him a record deal at the company he was working in, and while it was a small company, they let him do whatever he wanted. The staff were also kind and friendly. It was a whole lot better than his previous company, and much more than he could have ever asked for.

"Great job with the recording, Jeno! It was perfect." Johnny exclaims from his seat in front of a computer monitor, smiling at the raven haired male as he moved to walk out of the small recording booth. "Why don't you take a rest while Jaehyun and I run through the songs one last time? You look exhausted, and you definitely deserve to relax."

Jeno flashes the older male a tired but grateful smile. "Thank you, hyung."

"No problem. Now shoo! Go and rest. We'll call you back later."

They've been working on his debut album for weeks now, hoping to release it within the next month or so. Idly, he wonders if Jaemin would hear of it.

Probably? Or probably not? The younger male might be too busy with medical school but... Jeno finds himself hoping that Jaemin would. If only to let the other know that he was still alive and kicking. To let him know that he was finally accomplishing his dream.

Would Jaemin stop sending him letters then?

Jeno eyes the pink envelope sitting on the table beside his mug of mixed caffeine (that Jaemin would surely frown upon, lecturing him about his weird coffee addiction being the reason for his insomnia). He hadn't read the letter yet, since he was busy with recording. But he did find himself thinking about the contents. He'd been thinking of the younger too, when he sang his songs.

Even though he wanted to forget about the life he had back in Korea to start anew here in America, Jaemin made it hard to do so. He would always catch his mind drifting back to memories of chestnut brown hair, warm smiles, cute laughter, and eyes that twinkle like stars. Memories of lithe fingers running through his hair, the scent of flowers and spring, the feeling of home in his arms...

He had moved around a lot when he quit his old company, performing at various gigs just to get by, before he stayed with Mark. Then he found out that Jaemin didn't stop sending him letters, and that his old address (the one provided by his old company) kept receiving them. It would be easier to ignore and forget them, but he couldn't. So he paid his neighbors to send them to Mark's address.

Because Jaemin's letters were what made him keep going.

And Jeno didn't want him to stop.

 

* * *

 

 

_NONO!!_

_OMG!! I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!! WAHH MY BEST FRIEND IS FINALLY OUT THERE!!_

_Okay, I have to calm down but... You're probably wondering why I'm reacting like this, eh? Well, I just happened to walk into my dorm room when I! Heard! Your! Voice! Coming from my roommate's laptop!! We haven't really spoken much to each other since we're both really busy with our course work and part-time jobs (ah!! I forgot to mention but I got a job at Ten hyung's café!! But anywaaaaay-). I do know he's a fanboy though. It just took me months to figure out he was your fanboy._

_AND JENO OMG YOU SOUND SO GOOD WHAT- HOW- WHEN-_

_Just kidding! I always knew you had it in you to hit it big in the music scene. And I'm just- I'm just so proud!! Look how far my best friend has come!! I want to shout that out to the world!!_

_Ah... I hope you haven't forgotten about me since you're so famous now._

_Because I'm still here, waiting._

_\- Nana._

 

* * *

 

 

Jeno takes a few calming breaths as he stands there, staring at the familiar black gateway that led to the Na's household.

He had been given a week off by the company after successfully finishing his first ever world tour, and he decided to spend it in Korea with the people that mattered to him. Facing his parents after three years of silence from him turned out to be easier and less awkward than he initially thought. Of course there was anger and disappointment, but the relief that came with him being alive and well, happy and successful, overcame that and they welcomed him back. He spent the first two days of his break with them. But on the third day, his mother started nagging him about Jaemin's unanswered letters. She said he owed the younger a visit too, which then led to his current situation.

He shifts his weight from foot to foot, nervously curling his hands against the straps of his backpack. It wasn't that he didn't intend to visit Jaemin during his one week break, it was just... He wasn't sure what to say or do.

Jeno sucks in a breath, catching a glimpse of the younger from the opened window of the living room. The first thing he noticed was Jaemin's hair - it was a little bit longer than he'd last seen it (nearly three years ago), but it still looked so soft to the touch. Then he noticed his eyes, and how they sparkled under the cream lighting of the room.

The next thing happened in a blur. Jeno didn't know when he reached for the doorbell, but he heard it ring. And then the front door opened.

Suddenly, he and Jaemin are staring at each other.

He felt his heart skip a beat.

And then...

...Jaemin fainted.

 

* * *

 

 

Jaemin woke up after ten minutes, lying on his bed in his room. Alone.

At first, he thought it was all a dream. That seeing Jeno standing outside, staring at him with wide, awestruck eyes, was only him being delusional. And he wanted to cry because it was so cruel. He really wanted to see Jeno. He missed the other so much.

But then the subject of his thoughts entered the room after two soft knocks, settling himself quietly into the chair by Jaemin's study table. His earlier sadness turned into confusion, "... Nono?"

Jeno's lips curved up into a fond smile.

"Nana." He says, reaching out to clasp one of Jaemin's hands in between his. "I'm sorry you woke up without me. I talked to your parents and we kind of lost track of the time."

"It's fine. What's important is that you came back." Jaemin smiled, reaching out his other hand to brush the back of his fingers against the skin under Jeno's eyes. His smile loses a bit of its brightness when he says, "You still haven't been sleeping well, huh?"

"It makes me a good writer." The older replies, lacing their fingers together.

Jaemin hums.

Jeno watched as the younger seemed to brighten as the seconds ticked by. Without thinking much, he blurted out, "I stopped my caffeine addiction. Well, I _still_ drink coffee every once in a while but... yeah."

"Really? And all on your own too! That's great, Nono! Really!"

The hint of disappointment in Jaemin's voice surprised him a little. "You're upset."

Jaemin looked startled. "No, I'm not. I've always wanted you to stop or just try to regulate your caffein consumption because coffee _does_ provide health benefits if taken in moderation. It's harmful to the heart and kidneys otherwise... But really, I'm glad you did. Believe me."

The older raised a brow at him pointedly, smirking slightly when Jaemin unlaced their fingers to throw his hands up in exasperation. "Fine, fine! I..." He blew his bangs away from his face and pouted. The expression was so familiar, Jeno found himself reminiscing of the times when they were little and the other used the pout to get his way. This time was different though. "I... really wanted to be the one who broke that habit... Not that doing it on your own was bad!" He said hastily, and then shrugged, sulking a bit. " _I_ wanted to be the one who saved you."

 _You did_ , Jeno thought.

Aloud, he asked, "How is medical school?"

Jaemin brightened considerably before his eyes narrowed, and Jeno had only a second to realize his slip up. _Oh shoot_.

"So you _did_ get my letters!"

"Yes," Jeno says slowly, as if drawing out the moment would save him later on. "I did."

Instead of going red in the face like what he expected, the younger merely tilted his head to the side. "Why didn't you write me back, Jeno? I wrote to you every week for a year, and then twice a month for the next two years. I..." He bit his lip, shrugging as he looked up at Jeno from underneath his eyelashes. "I though you'd forgotten about me. I felt like a complete idiot for writing to you even though I never received a single reply back."

"You _are_ an idiot." Jeno says, reaching for the bag he brought with him on the study table. "But I'm glad you didn't stop."

He takes out an old iPod, blushing at the questioning look Jaemin was giving him. "You wrote me letters."

"Which you didn't respond to."

"I wrote you back," He slowly hands the younger the iPod. "I... I didn't know how to give them to you."

Jaemin's eyes were wide, sparkling brightly as he looked back and forth from Jeno to the iPod. The blush on his face matched the older's. "You... wrote me songs?"

Before Jeno could answer, Jaemin pulled him until he sat flushed against the younger's side on the bed. "So that song you wrote... _Walk You Home_... that one was for me?"

The smile on Jaemin's face made his heart leap into his throat.

Jeno half-nodded and he barely stopped the both of them from falling off the bed when Jaemin lunged at him, hugging him and pressing a sweet kiss on his lips. When the younger pulled back, there was a bright smile on his face. "Oh my god, you are _such_ a softie! I don't know if I should coo at you because that's so cute, or tease and laugh at you."

"Why don't you just kiss me?"

 

* * *

 

 

"I'm still angry with you, though."

Suddenly feeling defensive, Jeno says, "... But I wrote to you."

"Jeno, I worried for _three_ years. Not calling or writing back to tell me you were okay is mean. And just because you've recorded songs, most of which are saying how much you love me, doesn't mean I'm going to forgive you so easily after ignoring me for so long."

"Oh..."

He felt Jaemin move onto his elbows, feeling the other's light breath against his neck. Thinking quickly, he shrugged, "... What if I bought you those pastries you're always raving about?"

"I'm training to become a doctor, Jeno." Jaemin frowns, "Do you honestly think I'd still eat those sugary pastries after I learned how bad they were for my health?"

Jeno turns to him, slightly incredulous. "... So you don't want them?"

The younger laughs. "No, I still do. I just wanted to see your reaction, and it's hilarious."

"... I don't know why I thought of you."

"Aw, Nono." Jaemin kissed him lightly on the cheek, snuggling his head into Jeno's shoulder. "I missed you too." Then he smirks. "Although, you should know that. I _did_ tell you about a hundred times."

"You're never going to let that go, are you?"

"Of course."

"Thought so."

 


End file.
